Sometimes the truth hurts less

Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes the truth hurts less than being nice. I'm not trying to be funny, I'm not being sarcastic, and I've left out all specifics so as to not hurt any feelings. I think this is an important subject for the church today.


The Pastor of a church that I visited recently was out of town so they had a guest speaker. This speaker was open about his desire to be a full-time minister and his disappointment that it hadn't happened yet. The sad thing was that it was very obvious why he hadn't gotten any calls yet. He was a horrible speaker. It was painful at times. Sitting there trying to encourage him telepathically... "wait finish that thought", "ouch bad illustration move on, move on" "are you still on the same topic? tie this together please", and "not so much with the jokes, humor is not your spiritual gift". Public speaking was definitely not his gift. He has spent years of his life having people do the "nice" thing: encourage a dream that is doomed to fail. Throughout seminary, evaluations by his denomination and chosen ministry group, and countless "tryouts" for different ministry positions no one has been kind enough to say "you have many gifts but this is not one of them" This can be done very gently, tactfully, and in an encouraging way. He can be lifted up by the acknowledgment of the gifts he does posses (maybe he's better at one on one counseling or ministry organization), be given guidance on how to start focusing on those gifts, and encouraged to continue passionately pursuing God's work in these new areas. It would have saved so much pain, frustration, and questioning God on his part. I know, I've been in his position before. Not to his extreme. I hadn't laid down an entire decade of time and effort before I realized that people were just being "nice". But it still hurt more and it hurt longer in the end. The embarrassment of realizing I had been a public train wreck on numerous occasions coupled with the thought that I might have been hindering people's ability to connect with the Lord was a blow that stung for years to come. Yes I realize that we aren't the ones that do God's work but He does His work through us and many times in spite of us. I am aware that just a few examples from the Bible are God using a drunk, an adulterer, a murderer, a man with a speech impediment, and my personal favorite... an ass (donkey for those not raised on the KJV). But God has also given each of us specific talents, gifts, and abilities (sorry if that's redundant in your eyes) to do His work. Why is it a bad thing to point out those gifts and encourage people to focus more on those instead of the gifts they wish they had? So tell Mrs. Crabblebottom "We really appreciate your willingness to serve but we feel your gift of an outgoing and cheerful personality is stronger than your alto and we would love if you would be one of our greeters instead of singing in the choir" or tell Mr. Featherton "Thank you for your enthusiasm, we feel your ability to entertain kids would be a huge help in our childrens ministry and we can't really afford to have you break anymore of our brand new sound equipment while working on our tech team." Ok maybe phrase that one a little different but you get what I'm saying.

--Brad