I just watched Robert Redfords "Lions for Lambs". I love Robert Redford... in a totally heterosexual way. I want to meet him for coffee at sunrise at a cafe on the banks of the Vltava river in Prague. There he would impart wisdom unto me and transform me from a wild immature kid with tons of potential to a measured and mature leader in the crusade of all that is right and just. Of course I don't want to meet the real Robert Redford. Who knows what that guy is like? I want to meet the character he plays in movies like "Spygame" and "Lions for Lambs".
I'll admit that the movie was heavily layered with political and ideological agendas, but I don't think these were the main points of the movie. Well maybe they were, but I still chose to ignore them and focus on the subplot carried by Robert Redford and Andrew Garfield. Redford plays an older Poli-Sci professor, who after just one look you can tell possesses heavy doses of wisdom, insight, and discernment. Garfield plays the college kid who is squandering loads of potential partly because of the cynicism he has developed against the system, partly from laziness, and partly because Redford hasn't sent him straight yet. Redford calls Garfield into his office early one morning, the wisdom flows, the potential is prodded, and a brilliant series of scenes ensues. If I knew anything about technology I would magically cut out all scenes void of Redford and just watch the abridged version of the movie over and over. Of course it's probably best to see the movie as a whole first. At least once. Maybe.
I think the movie struck such a chord with me because I'm about to turn 27 years old. Yes I know I'm still very young. But when you reach 27 no one refers to your potential anymore. It seems that by the time you reach 27 potential is either realized or lost. If you're going to do something special, most of the time, you've already got a good head start by this age. I used to have people tell me about my potential all the time. Teachers, college advisers, employers, people at my church. Now? Nuthin... Crickets.
However, I must admit, deep down inside, in places I don't talk about very often, I still harbour a glimmer of hope that those people were right. I still dream that it's not too late. Something in me still yearns for more. Maybe not more but certainly better. I'm not dissatisfied with my life or circumstances by any means. I have an incredible wife, an amazing son, some great friends, I'm not rich in American terms but I live pretty comfortably, and I have the opportunity to make choices about my future. But still, I want to do GREAT things and be someone GREAT. Do you know what I mean? Is it just me? I think this is ok to say out loud. Do not mistake that statement for desiring adulation, because that is not greatness. These days people are adored for taking steroids and hitting a ball really hard with a stick. No, I don't seek the adulation of crowds, but to do and be something great. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. After all, if we do not dream of greatness, if we strive for the mundane, or set our hearts on mediocrity, what kind of life is that? I yearn to right wrongs. I desire to fix that which is broken. I pray that God would use me to further His kingdom. I long to be a better father and husband. I wish to be the friend that is called on when someone is in need. I don't think this is bad. I wonder if there is any of that old potential left in there to live up to these desires.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Barnes & Noble
For my first Fathers day I received lots of cool stuff. Breakfast in bed, a soccer ball, a Sportsmans Bible, and professionally done portraits of my wife and son to name a few. I also received a gift card to Barnes & Noble. I love getting gift cards to Barnes & Noble. The problem is I could get one for $200 and spend it in about ten minutes. My head starts spinning as soon as I pull into the parking lot. I can spend five minutes just looking at the clearance items before I even get inside the actual store. I know, there is always a good reason that they are on clearance but I have to make sure that a little gem didn't slip past the five thousand readers that have already picked through them.
So I went to Barnes & Noble.
I forced myself to fore go the clearance rack for brevity's sake. After ten minutes in the store (no exaggeration) I had twelve books for consideration. I knew that the gift card was only enough for two paperbacks... except if I chose from the large "buy two get one free section". So, I headed to the Cafe to sort through them and see who would make the cut. I scrounged the change to get a tall coffee and sat down at a table. I read the back covers to see if I could eliminate any right off the bat. Nope. I read the endorsements on the first pages to see if they would rule any out or solidify any into a definite spot. "ooh Andrew Peterson likes this one." "Oh but RICH MULLINS endorsed this one." "uh oh Joel Osteen loves this one." Just Kidding... I would never accidentally choose a book that Joel Osteen likes. Anyway, no luck. I was going to have to do this the hard way; read snippets from each book to see which ones grab my attention. So I did. All of them were pretty interesting but I managed to whittle it down to five. It was an easy decision after that. Three of them were from the "buy two get one free" section and everybody knows that three books are better than two (unless they're by Joel Osteen). So, I reluctantly shuffled around the store replacing the books that didn't make the cut. I offered each one a heartfelt apology and a little encouragement. "Sorry bud, it's not that you're not good, but I only have so much room on the gift card. Keep your chin up, maybe it'll work out next time." I'm almost positive I heard Jack London sniffle a bit and I'm pretty sure Brendan Manning rolled his eyes at me. I averted my eyes from countless captivating titles on the way to the check out line. "Stay focused Brad, you've made your choices, these are good books." Waiting in line I realized something about my choices that I had not planned. If you know me well you might know that three of my biggest passions and favorite reading subjects are; God, the environment, and outdoor adventures (my wife and son are obviously two of my greatest passions but there are no books about them). In my hand I held Uprising: A Revolution of the Soul - Erwin McManus, The Green Book:The Everyday Guide to Saving the Planet One Simple Step at a time - Rogers and Kostigen, and (to replace my stolen copy) Into the Wild - John Krakauer. On my way out of the store I smiled because I thought it was a funny coincidence.
Today I realized that it was no coincidence. I have been praying for God to rekindle the passion that has been dying in my heart. Not specific passions but passion in general. The kind of passion that I talked about not long ago in my post "Come let us meet together". Passion for life, enjoyment of life, to step from the mundane into the glory of God and all He has created. I see it as no coincidence that I bought those three books. This rings especially true as I dive into Uprising, which starts with a section about passion, the death of it, the death it causes, the reasons for it, and how to recapture it.
You would think by now that I would know that there are no coincidences. I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer though. I wonder how many more times God is going to have to pound that into head my head? (That there are no coincidences, not that I'm dumb.)
-Brad
So I went to Barnes & Noble.
I forced myself to fore go the clearance rack for brevity's sake. After ten minutes in the store (no exaggeration) I had twelve books for consideration. I knew that the gift card was only enough for two paperbacks... except if I chose from the large "buy two get one free section". So, I headed to the Cafe to sort through them and see who would make the cut. I scrounged the change to get a tall coffee and sat down at a table. I read the back covers to see if I could eliminate any right off the bat. Nope. I read the endorsements on the first pages to see if they would rule any out or solidify any into a definite spot. "ooh Andrew Peterson likes this one." "Oh but RICH MULLINS endorsed this one." "uh oh Joel Osteen loves this one." Just Kidding... I would never accidentally choose a book that Joel Osteen likes. Anyway, no luck. I was going to have to do this the hard way; read snippets from each book to see which ones grab my attention. So I did. All of them were pretty interesting but I managed to whittle it down to five. It was an easy decision after that. Three of them were from the "buy two get one free" section and everybody knows that three books are better than two (unless they're by Joel Osteen). So, I reluctantly shuffled around the store replacing the books that didn't make the cut. I offered each one a heartfelt apology and a little encouragement. "Sorry bud, it's not that you're not good, but I only have so much room on the gift card. Keep your chin up, maybe it'll work out next time." I'm almost positive I heard Jack London sniffle a bit and I'm pretty sure Brendan Manning rolled his eyes at me. I averted my eyes from countless captivating titles on the way to the check out line. "Stay focused Brad, you've made your choices, these are good books." Waiting in line I realized something about my choices that I had not planned. If you know me well you might know that three of my biggest passions and favorite reading subjects are; God, the environment, and outdoor adventures (my wife and son are obviously two of my greatest passions but there are no books about them). In my hand I held Uprising: A Revolution of the Soul - Erwin McManus, The Green Book:The Everyday Guide to Saving the Planet One Simple Step at a time - Rogers and Kostigen, and (to replace my stolen copy) Into the Wild - John Krakauer. On my way out of the store I smiled because I thought it was a funny coincidence.
Today I realized that it was no coincidence. I have been praying for God to rekindle the passion that has been dying in my heart. Not specific passions but passion in general. The kind of passion that I talked about not long ago in my post "Come let us meet together". Passion for life, enjoyment of life, to step from the mundane into the glory of God and all He has created. I see it as no coincidence that I bought those three books. This rings especially true as I dive into Uprising, which starts with a section about passion, the death of it, the death it causes, the reasons for it, and how to recapture it.
You would think by now that I would know that there are no coincidences. I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer though. I wonder how many more times God is going to have to pound that into head my head? (That there are no coincidences, not that I'm dumb.)
-Brad
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sometimes the truth hurts less
Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes the truth hurts less than being nice. I'm not trying to be funny, I'm not being sarcastic, and I've left out all specifics so as to not hurt any feelings. I think this is an important subject for the church today.
The Pastor of a church that I visited recently was out of town so they had a guest speaker. This speaker was open about his desire to be a full-time minister and his disappointment that it hadn't happened yet. The sad thing was that it was very obvious why he hadn't gotten any calls yet. He was a horrible speaker. It was painful at times. Sitting there trying to encourage him telepathically... "wait finish that thought", "ouch bad illustration move on, move on" "are you still on the same topic? tie this together please", and "not so much with the jokes, humor is not your spiritual gift". Public speaking was definitely not his gift. He has spent years of his life having people do the "nice" thing: encourage a dream that is doomed to fail. Throughout seminary, evaluations by his denomination and chosen ministry group, and countless "tryouts" for different ministry positions no one has been kind enough to say "you have many gifts but this is not one of them" This can be done very gently, tactfully, and in an encouraging way. He can be lifted up by the acknowledgment of the gifts he does posses (maybe he's better at one on one counseling or ministry organization), be given guidance on how to start focusing on those gifts, and encouraged to continue passionately pursuing God's work in these new areas. It would have saved so much pain, frustration, and questioning God on his part. I know, I've been in his position before. Not to his extreme. I hadn't laid down an entire decade of time and effort before I realized that people were just being "nice". But it still hurt more and it hurt longer in the end. The embarrassment of realizing I had been a public train wreck on numerous occasions coupled with the thought that I might have been hindering people's ability to connect with the Lord was a blow that stung for years to come. Yes I realize that we aren't the ones that do God's work but He does His work through us and many times in spite of us. I am aware that just a few examples from the Bible are God using a drunk, an adulterer, a murderer, a man with a speech impediment, and my personal favorite... an ass (donkey for those not raised on the KJV). But God has also given each of us specific talents, gifts, and abilities (sorry if that's redundant in your eyes) to do His work. Why is it a bad thing to point out those gifts and encourage people to focus more on those instead of the gifts they wish they had? So tell Mrs. Crabblebottom "We really appreciate your willingness to serve but we feel your gift of an outgoing and cheerful personality is stronger than your alto and we would love if you would be one of our greeters instead of singing in the choir" or tell Mr. Featherton "Thank you for your enthusiasm, we feel your ability to entertain kids would be a huge help in our childrens ministry and we can't really afford to have you break anymore of our brand new sound equipment while working on our tech team." Ok maybe phrase that one a little different but you get what I'm saying.
--Brad
The Pastor of a church that I visited recently was out of town so they had a guest speaker. This speaker was open about his desire to be a full-time minister and his disappointment that it hadn't happened yet. The sad thing was that it was very obvious why he hadn't gotten any calls yet. He was a horrible speaker. It was painful at times. Sitting there trying to encourage him telepathically... "wait finish that thought", "ouch bad illustration move on, move on" "are you still on the same topic? tie this together please", and "not so much with the jokes, humor is not your spiritual gift". Public speaking was definitely not his gift. He has spent years of his life having people do the "nice" thing: encourage a dream that is doomed to fail. Throughout seminary, evaluations by his denomination and chosen ministry group, and countless "tryouts" for different ministry positions no one has been kind enough to say "you have many gifts but this is not one of them" This can be done very gently, tactfully, and in an encouraging way. He can be lifted up by the acknowledgment of the gifts he does posses (maybe he's better at one on one counseling or ministry organization), be given guidance on how to start focusing on those gifts, and encouraged to continue passionately pursuing God's work in these new areas. It would have saved so much pain, frustration, and questioning God on his part. I know, I've been in his position before. Not to his extreme. I hadn't laid down an entire decade of time and effort before I realized that people were just being "nice". But it still hurt more and it hurt longer in the end. The embarrassment of realizing I had been a public train wreck on numerous occasions coupled with the thought that I might have been hindering people's ability to connect with the Lord was a blow that stung for years to come. Yes I realize that we aren't the ones that do God's work but He does His work through us and many times in spite of us. I am aware that just a few examples from the Bible are God using a drunk, an adulterer, a murderer, a man with a speech impediment, and my personal favorite... an ass (donkey for those not raised on the KJV). But God has also given each of us specific talents, gifts, and abilities (sorry if that's redundant in your eyes) to do His work. Why is it a bad thing to point out those gifts and encourage people to focus more on those instead of the gifts they wish they had? So tell Mrs. Crabblebottom "We really appreciate your willingness to serve but we feel your gift of an outgoing and cheerful personality is stronger than your alto and we would love if you would be one of our greeters instead of singing in the choir" or tell Mr. Featherton "Thank you for your enthusiasm, we feel your ability to entertain kids would be a huge help in our childrens ministry and we can't really afford to have you break anymore of our brand new sound equipment while working on our tech team." Ok maybe phrase that one a little different but you get what I'm saying.
--Brad
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Posers Anonymous
Hi I'm Brad and I don't like bluegrass music. It's not that I dislike it, I listen to it occasionally. I've even been to a few sessions of Pickin on the Green in Asheville and had a stellar time. But I'll be honest. I hate that WNCW jams its airwaves with bluegrass on the weekends. Aside from people who fall into the Folk category but are sometimes mislabeled as bluegrass (nickel creek, alison krauss, and the likes) I own not a hairy bit of bluegrass music. So why pretend? I don't know. Maybe because I'm a lower middle class resident of Greenville, SC who leans a bit to the preppy side sometimes, I enjoy frequenting towns like Asheville and Brevard, and relish time in the mountains. It's like a badge I'm supposed to wear. But I don't really enjoy it all that much and I no longer will pretend. I'm coming out of the closet. I'm here, bluegrass steer clear, and I'm proud of it.
While we're on the subject of things that take me off the hipster list...
I'm getting tired of "indie" films. Yes they were all the rage for me years ago around the time of "The United States of Leeland" and "Garden State" but it's time to let the fanfare subside. I'm not sure how most of these movies can claim to be "indie" anyway, with big name stars, huge budgets, and massive hoopla leading up to a national release. So they may not be released by a "major" production company, big deal. I think "indie" films should stray from the beaten path. Quirky films with dark comedic undertones pointing to a nihilistic worldview have become the norm. It's tired. Lay it to rest unless you have something above average to offer. For now I'm going back to movies like Rocky Balboa, the new Die Hard, and the new Indiana Jones. No they weren't awesome but at least they had taken a long enough break for me to become nostalgic about them.
I guess I'm not that cool... or maybe I'm so cool that I'm just ahead of my time. No probably not.
--Brad
While we're on the subject of things that take me off the hipster list...
I'm getting tired of "indie" films. Yes they were all the rage for me years ago around the time of "The United States of Leeland" and "Garden State" but it's time to let the fanfare subside. I'm not sure how most of these movies can claim to be "indie" anyway, with big name stars, huge budgets, and massive hoopla leading up to a national release. So they may not be released by a "major" production company, big deal. I think "indie" films should stray from the beaten path. Quirky films with dark comedic undertones pointing to a nihilistic worldview have become the norm. It's tired. Lay it to rest unless you have something above average to offer. For now I'm going back to movies like Rocky Balboa, the new Die Hard, and the new Indiana Jones. No they weren't awesome but at least they had taken a long enough break for me to become nostalgic about them.
I guess I'm not that cool... or maybe I'm so cool that I'm just ahead of my time. No probably not.
--Brad
Come let us meet together
Come, Let us meet together and speak passionately of things that stir our hearts.
For I am a man of many false conclusions and I seek the wise counsel of Good friends on my quest to correct these fallacies.
Not that we may glory in our triumph of greater wisdom, nay we shall never reach the pinnacle for which we strive
But it is the journey that makes a man.
For a man may stumble, lose his way, or grow weary but it is he who continues that truly lives.
Too many of my generation have laid down in the face of hardship. Too many have fallen without the will to get up again. Too many have given themselves to a life of mediocrity, which is no life at all.
Not that we must climb the Everests, win the championships, brave the arctic winters, or break the banks of this life to stave off mediocrity. No. To be a true friend, to love our wives, to have compassion on those less fortunate than us, to raise our children well, to help those in need, and stand firmly and with a strong voice against injustice these are things that make men great.
Man cannot do these things without passion.
So come, let us meet together and speak passionately of things that stir our hearts. For I do not fear the likes of death and the loss of fortunes, but I pray against the loss of hope, heart, and passion.
--Brad
For I am a man of many false conclusions and I seek the wise counsel of Good friends on my quest to correct these fallacies.
Not that we may glory in our triumph of greater wisdom, nay we shall never reach the pinnacle for which we strive
But it is the journey that makes a man.
For a man may stumble, lose his way, or grow weary but it is he who continues that truly lives.
Too many of my generation have laid down in the face of hardship. Too many have fallen without the will to get up again. Too many have given themselves to a life of mediocrity, which is no life at all.
Not that we must climb the Everests, win the championships, brave the arctic winters, or break the banks of this life to stave off mediocrity. No. To be a true friend, to love our wives, to have compassion on those less fortunate than us, to raise our children well, to help those in need, and stand firmly and with a strong voice against injustice these are things that make men great.
Man cannot do these things without passion.
So come, let us meet together and speak passionately of things that stir our hearts. For I do not fear the likes of death and the loss of fortunes, but I pray against the loss of hope, heart, and passion.
--Brad
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